Ontario students, teachers and their families just finished their one week March Break. As I watched my Instagram feed populate with pictures of friends who were travelling to warmer climates, I thought about how much I loved being able to stay home; the city is quiet because of the grand exodus. By the end of Day One, though, I really wanted to be somewhere else.

On Saturday afternoon, Dave, the dogs and I headed down for a walk along the lake. Dave had to drop something off on the way down and I opened the steel barrier to the building’s parking lot like I often do but when I closed it….

“Ow! My finger!” I lifted the top bar with my free hand in a flash; the nail on my index finger was already turning blue. “I need ice! Now!” I suddenly felt like I was 4 years old again. Of course, we couldn’t find any, but we did locate a freezie – blue, of course.

Holding my finger between two halves of a freezie numbed it immediately; the tip was especially cold. We still walked the dogs for a while and we stopped at my favorite bakery for some sweet treats. When I got back home, I iced my finger again and took a Tylenol to deal with the pain. By 8:30, I was starting to feel better so I decided to do my long ride (70km) as planned. About ten minutes after finishing, the pain set it.

“Ow, ow, ow! My finger really hurts! I think I need to go to the hospital!” Dave reminded me that I would probably have to wait for hours before I saw a doctor and that there wasn’t much that they would be able to do. “Of course, it hurts,” he said. “You’re going to lose your nail.”

By midnight, I was in tears. I thought about driving myself to the hospital but the pain was so strong that I knew I shouldn’t drive. Instead, I sent a text to my young adult who was out with some friends; surely, he would take me. “Send me a picture” was his texted reply, followed by “It doesn’t look that bad……If it still hurts in the morning, I’ll take you then.” In the morning: that seemed like a light year away. I curled up in bed and I cried. My pain threshold is high but, honestly, I was making more noise than I did when I gave birth. I didn’t even care if I was keeping anyone awake (of course I was) because my agony had been downplayed. Sometime after 4:00 a.m., I finally fell asleep. When I woke up, the pain had subsided (thanks to Tylenol and its good friend, Advil) but my finger was very swollen and the nail had turned black. Now nobody doubted that I needed medical attention.

As promised, my youngest drove me to the hospital. While waiting for the Triage Nurse, I had a glimpse of my future. “This is what old age will look like – when my son has to drive me everywhere and look after me because I can’t look after myself” I thought. Even though I told him that he could leave me on my own, he insisted on staying.

The Triage Nurse decided that my finger needed to be x-rayed so imaging was done before I saw a doctor. Miraculously, there were no breaks. The doctor drained the excess blood by drilling a hole through the nail and pressing down on it to bring it to the surface. After he put on a bandaid he sent me home with these precautions:

(1) Keep draining your finger at least 3 times a day. You need to make sure that the extra pressure is released or you could lose your nail.

(2) Don’t swim. The area under the nail bed can get easily infected (yes, even in chlorinated water) and you don’t have the antibodies there right now to fight it. Wait for the bleeding to stop. I waited 4 days.

(3) Follow-up with your family doctor and come back next week for more x-rays to make sure there isn’t a hairline fracture anywhere. You also need to see a plastic surgeon because it if isn’t healing properly, you might need surgery.

Honestly, I don’t know how I didn’t manage to break my finger – or lose it. Each part of the barrier is about 10 feet long and weighs 10-15 pounds; my finger was literally sandwiched in between. I am sure that there is some nerve damage as the finger tip is still white and is always cold. I am using that finger as much as I can now to encourage circulation but nerves repair slowly. It will definitely be a while before it is back to normal.

As a long distance runner, I have had my fair share of black toenails and have lost several, but this was far, far worse. But I am in one piece and, while there are some challenges (e.g. I keep dropping things), I have a feeling that things will eventually be okay.